Does the fact that I like sword and sandal movies make me gay? Don't answer that.

I like the Rock because he doesn't take himself too seriously.  I like Hercules movies because they usually don't take themselves too seriously.  That means this may be a match made in men in leather skirt heaven, as long as everyone else didn't take it to damn seriously.

Things that could take this over the top for awesome.

1) Hercules gives the Nemean Lion the people's elbow.
2) Before fighting Cerberus he says "Finally, Hercules, has come back to Hades".
3) He calls Zeus a Jabroni

and lastly



4) Before leaving his wife and kids he asks if they can smell what Hercules is cooking.

Anyway, that is it for me today.

Rage off.

How many visuals can they shove up your ass at the same time...

First off, this movie looks like they designed it to burn your eyes out with awesome space opera goodness.  Second, it kind of seems like they focuses on burning your eyes out instead of making a good movie which I imagine banging a Kardashian would be like, fun while it lasts but the need to scorch off your genitalia would be strong afterwords.

Also, why does Channing Tatum look like Dominic Monaghan in this movie?

It kind of makes me think this movie is about a space shire where all the hobbit wear jet boots and carry Gungan shields.

Anyway, it looks like the studio has felt the need to push back the opening of this move to February to "Finish the Special Effects" which seams like code for "We didn't want to have to go up against Guardians of the Galaxy this summer", so we won't get to find out if this is shit or shinola until next year.

Rage on.

Fuck your sparkly god damn Vampires!

Why it has taken so long to do a movie like this I don't know.  I've always enjoyed when someone has tried to tell the actual story of Vlad Tepes and there are a few decent(ish) movies out there that go that route, but this is the first time I've seen one that combines the real with the myth in a way that looks fucking interesting.

Tell those sparkly fucking vampires to go back to sucking dick for money, it looks like the original may be back to kick their ass.

Rage On.

Movies from our youth

We all have our favorites movies from our youth, me it was Ol' Yeller, I don't think I have laughed as hard as I did the day I saw that movie, but a lot of them don't stand the test of time when we watch them as an adult.

Which movies from your youth stand up today like they did when you first saw them?

Rage out.

Just So You Know... Your Favorite Movie SUCKS!

Yes, that's right, it sucks. That one movie, the one you love so much it completes you. The one you turn to for comfort when life deals you the harsh card. Yeah, that one. It's a piece of shit. It's poorly shot,

horrendously edited, and pathetically acted. The director was incompetent, the cinematographer was a moron, the costume designer was just phoning it in, and the shit head who was in charge of casting must have been frying on really bad, brown acid when they thought up the cast for this idiotic piece of shit! The writer couldn't put together a first grade nativity play, and yet, some slack-jawed, mouth-breathing, over-paid cock face in an expensive suit who wouldn't know Shakespeare from the ingredients list on a box of Corn Flakes hired this tool to write your favorite movie, because it happens to match up with some hamfisted demographic research that told him what you supposedly want to watch, and like the drooling, gap-toothed dumb fuck you are, you bought into it, hook, line and stinker!

Your favorite movie is a piece of shit. Deal with it!

Here endeth the lesson.

Fuck Yeah, more Kaiju giant Robot porn!

Not only is Pacific Rim getting a Sequel, it is getting an animated series and the comic series is going to continue.

I know that E. Adam Thomas wasn't a fan of the film but I was and can not wait to see where this goes.

A Godzilla Haiku

I pause a moment
Is this what I really want?
And I answer... "Yes"
(Samurai Frog, via Tumblr)

The First... well crap, too late. The Second Fucking Post.

Good Day Fuckazoids, if you are reading this then you have found your way to the blog of the Angry Men.

Couldn't get enough of our vitriol from our videos?  Then come read about the things that piss us off her on Blogger, AKA Blog Spot, or as I like to call it, the hell of those who can't use Word Press and want to feel superior to Tumbler.

Honestly there is nor real rhyme or reason for this post other than to try and make sure all of or settings are right and this blog gets flung across the internet like a Peter North money shot after a very intense threesome. If this doesn't work you may see my picture in the papers tomorrow after I eviscerated everyone at Blogger HQ with a typewriter and a college ruled notebook.  Not like you didn't expect that to happen some time, but at least you will know why.

Angry Andy

The Fuck It Team

Oh, Blogger, you silly c**t!

Greetings, rant fans. I am E. Adam Thomas, host of Adam's Film Rants on the Angry Men Reviews channel on You Tube, or, to make it simpler, I am EAT, host of AFR on the AMR channel on YT, EIEIO. In the future, I will be posting all kinds of irrelevant, useless information, such as "How to survive a nuclear attack without looking like a complete, panic-stricken imbecile," but today, I just want to drool a bit on your eyelobes about how fucking sick to death I am of having to have so many different goddamn passwords for everything. I just accepted the invitation to post blogs on this site, because the "Powers That Be" want us to have a more obnoxious level of web presence. In the course of this, I ended up having to change my goddamn Google password because I couldn't remember it. Why? Because my browser remembers it for me. So why did I have to change it? Because Blogger didn't ask my browser for my password. Why? Because Blogger is a pussy, that's why!

At my "day job," I have to change my system password once a month, my login system password once every 6 months, my data entry system password every three months, and my men's room "Poop-Free" access code once every 17.3 weeks. My Roku box can't connect to my router, my cellphone won't talk to my table, and apparently, my cat has somehow hacked my Petsmart club card (Seriously, Sniffles? You actually need $2,498.75 worth of catnip mice? You need help!). I'm sick of it.

Why do we have to endure all this piddly bullshit? Because you people are all a bunch of larcenous, self-entitled SHITS! Yes... all of you. What do I mean by "You People"? I mean ALL OF YOU! Knuckle-dragging, date-raping, mouth-breathing, ass-scratching, Twitter-addicted, cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit homo fucking sapiens! Seriously! You all steal everything! Hell, so do I... I just fucking ripped off dialogue from Christmas Vacation! The difference? You can still watch the movie, and the line of dialogue is STILL IN THERE!!! You people all use your evil stealing ways to take money away from eachother! Theives! You're all a bunch of dirty thieves!

Passwords used to be fun. When I was a kid, and I had my own club, we had a password to get into the club. It wasn't to keep girls out, it was just to keep Billy Schlectreman out, because he smelled like cheese and said "Goshalicious" a lot. It was the only password I ever had to remember, and it didn't require a combination of capital and lower case letters, numbers, special characters and ancient Sumarian demon summoning encantations. We only had to change it one time, because, in our infinite wisdom, we decided the password should be "Goshalicious," because we had a twisted sense of irony that it would be the one word we didn't think he would ever guess. We later changed it to "billyschlectremaneatshisownpoop."

The point I'm trying to make is, if it weren't for dishonest people, we wouldn't really need passwords. If it weren't for REALLY dishonest people, we wouldn't need so many goddamn passwords. And, if it weren't for you disgusting little nuckle-dragging, date-raping, mouth-breathing, ass-scratching, Twitter-addicted, cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit, homo fucking sapien dishonest people, we wouldn't have to keep changing our passwords every five fucking minutes!

Seriously, you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Bastards!

Thank you, and have a nice day!

PS: Watch my damn videos!